Faded




You know you're a faded superstar, when you've gotten your oscar, and once had 4 of your movies playing in the cinemas all at the same time within a month but are now not even listed in the trailer credits nor official website of an upcoming movie produced by your ex-boyfriend.

Concerntrating on family (and thinking of better names for your children) is a justified excuse, but well, life's unfair.

I'm still going to watch the movie anyway.

I love Gwyneth Paltrow.

Oh, and I absolutely LOVE the bathroom. Goes right in with my dream wall from Jude Law's "Alfie".

Labels: Sightings

Horrorshow

The apostles have spoken. I am now the proud owner of a 31-inch waist. Let the apocalypse begin!

Labels: Updates

Unfulfillment

If there ever was a childhood dream that I really really wanted to be, I wanted to be an artist.

Granted I loved drawing, but I also knew the limits of my talents. Hence, I knew I couldn't make it as an artist, and neither would I, given its bleak prospects - if you're asian and you don't do asian, then you're more or less obscure and struggling in oblivion. And there'd be tons of artists out there with greater history, greater culture, not to mention greater skill waiting to outshine everyone else.

I knew I craved the endless depths of creativity, and hence I began channeling energies toward other form of 'art' given that I could still be an 'artist' as well, in some way or another. I wrote, I sang, as the definitions of 'art' grew bigger and bigger.

I believe I'm too smart, or not stupid enough academically for my own good. Always hanging in there within the boundaries of the mainstream, I was never in danger of falling out of the system. Had I been a dumb ass at school, I probably would have focused all my energies on what I really wanted, since I had no choice anyway. I could have gone to poly, NAFA, or some other art schools. Or if i were stupider, I would have gone to ITE and too courses at CCs or something just so I would stay out of trouble.

BUT i had to be the smart one. Last few in class - but always of one of the top class. Lousy grades in JC - but still made it to university. 2nd lower, but still honours none the less. Maybe if i were really a grahics designer, I'd be one half-baked ass too, albeit a really good one.

Paul Rand. Philippe Stark. Which is why I love minimalism and why it is so easy and hard to achieve.

What fills the mind does not necessary fills the stomach. In terms of the proverbial glass, I'm just interchanging the part that's half full with the one that's half empty.

Labels: Whine

This post shall not have a title because it's going to be about life, and most of the time you don't know how it's going to be like until you are halfway through. And even THEN, a sudden twist can still occur in the end to render what you set out to achieve totally irrelevant.

It's not going to have a number like they do in book chapters either because the boundaries are never that clear cut. Like how 'they' say life is like the movies, stage, play, puppet show, et cetera et cetera, it just flows from credits to credits (for opening and ending, not the one that means you owe people money). Not unless you're trying to make the film look like a book anyway.

So what I'm going to talk about probably won't be related to this preamble anyway.

*****

I realise the best advice anyone can ever give to anybody essentially boils down to the 3 words:

"Don't stop trying".

Just that the process through which you make people arrive at that conclusion is what makes the convincing part difficult.

Some people like to pay tens and thousands of dollars to renowed people to tell them things that have minimal scientific proof and are probably things that they know anyway, others just like to do so just so they can 'win', as part of a more generic competitive nature.

Because I've already spent that much of money, so it's too late for me to stop trying now. Because the sunk costs have more than justified and overruled the utility to not follow that simple advice.

Because once I stop trying, I lose.
Because once YOU stop trying,

YOU LOSE.

Life is short enough already. I still think I was 20 yesterday. I WISH I'm 21 today. Cutting it any shorter or disabling yourself to make it seem longer is not going to make it any worse or better.

Don't believe what the scientists say. I say the Earth is flat. I say Global warming is real (it's not, says Crichton). I say I believe in Crichton.

I believe in the principles of parsimony.

Leave the rhetorics to the intellects. After all, they're the ones being paid to think for a living.

I just set my own boundaries. The essence of that mantra is that it never ends. However, to continuously adhere to it requires a monumental effort. That's why every moment of null progress and status quo is only a checkpoint.

If you must, the 2nd part of the mantra should goes something like this:

"know when to stop".

But know that every stop is but a next checkpoint away, but every checkpoint is never nearer each stop.

Because if you don't stop, you never stop trying.

*****
My couselling lecturer was probably wrong in giving me a big fat C anyway.
Then again, maybe she was right; she probably never got it.

Labels: Whine

Monster Truck


I love my dad's pickup. It's big, badass, strong and powerful. While the rich and showy chase after big cars with prestige and power, my advice to them is, GET A MERC BUS.

No doubt it's slow, manual, noisy and goes beep beep beep above 70kph, it also makes a fun ride for everyone (ditto picture).

I'm guilty of the fact that I'm priviledged to enjoy such a ride sans obligations, and yet does not even bothers to remember its licence plate number. And so here is the picture to help reference and archive it, in case of emergencies ('officer, I do not know the number of the car that I'm driving now, but I'm quite sure I can find it under the August entry of my blog online..').

Labels: Whine

Dream a Little Dream of Me

I am deeply inspired by a thought today, brought upon by idle banter. However, at what price? I am willing to sacrifice 5 years of my youth to see that it succeed, but lacking the courage. At the same time, is the public ready for something that radical, and is the niche crowd ready for the inception of such a concept?

I am deeply lured, at such turbulent times.

Pros and cons. Drive. Youth. Contacts. INEXPERIENCE. DOLLARS & CENTS. LEGAL ADVICE. SUPPORT & FUNDING.

Needs. Self-upgrading. Self-sustenance. Courage.

My overconfidence tells people I'm spoilt for choice. At the same time, it also raises self-doubt about my position.

Make a stand: Dreamer or realist?

Labels: Whine

Questionaire

Do you feel unsatisfied with your life? YES
Do you feel lost? YES
Do you feel obliged to do everything you do? YES
Have you ever taken control of your life? NO
Are you moving on in life? NO
Do you wish people would just leave you alone? YES
Are you unhappy?

Thank you for your time. We regret to inform you that any incomplete fields would render this test invalid.

Labels: Whine